What Nikki Glaser Can’t Live Without (2024)

Masks are the No. 1 essential thing in my life. I wear them on planes. I wear them to sleep every single night. Once you use a mask long enough, you train your body to know that when the mask comes down, it’s time to go to sleep. I’ve tried every sleep mask. I have hundreds of them; I try new ones all the time. And this one I’ve been committed to for a year now. I buy it for all of my friends that have trouble sleeping.

I’m obsessed with this. I have been on it for about seven years. My face just eats every moisturizer no matter how moisturizing it claims to be. This gives the moisture of an oil without the greasiness. I literally can’t live without it. I was gatekeeping for a while because I thought it might go away, but I’m pretty certain it won’t so I’m ready to tell people about it.

I discovered this when I was doing stand-up in Europe. I needed a new eyeliner, and so I went into a store and just picked this one out. I’ve spent so much on eyeliners trying to get that perfect Taylor Swift wing that looks like a deep black and doesn’t get kind of watery. This one just has a really great black line, and it lasts a long time.

I don’t really allow a lot of luxury in my life because I’m a self-loathing comedian, but this always makes me feel really rich and just the way I should be treating myself — the way everyone should treat themselves is to have things like Cozy Earth sheets. They feel buttery and cooling and just elite.

I have three of these at my house, and I bring them to karaoke rooms if I’m doing a karaoke party, because it is more fun for me when people sing with me. I feel like even though I’m a comedian and I like the attention on me, karaoke should be more of a group thing sometimes. It’s just an instant party in your house, and it’s amazing how good it sounds. Kids love them too. They’re so fun.

A lot of spray tans start to smear off and get scaly, and you can’t get another one because you’ve got this residue built up. If you don’t want to go with something so permanent, this is a perfect cream that you mix with some hand lotion or body lotion. It stays on a lot more than you might think it would, and it looks flawless: You can have Barbie-like legs.

This is the best phone stand I can imagine. It’s cheap, it’s great. I started using it during the pandemic to read chords while playing guitar, and now I use it to go live on Instagram or when I’m eating cereal and want to look at my phone.

I only got into guitar four years ago, and I bring this one with me on the road. It’s just something I can play when I don’t feel like wasting time in some unproductive way. I really recommend adults pick up a musical instrument. You’ll be astounded at how little it takes to just get to a place where you feel pretty confident.I can pick it up and just play a Taylor Swift song. It fits on every plane, and every time you walk on, someone will say, “Are you going to entertain us?” I say, “You wouldn’t want that, sir.”

Almost every person in my life started getting this. Then I finally succumbed to it because I’ve done the LED masks, and I just don’t stick with any of those. This is so small and it’s not cost prohibitive, and it definitely soothes my skin. Even if the LED feature doesn’t work, I like the fact that it vibrates and heats up and makes me feel that I’m doing something good for my skin.

I’ve been using natural deodorant for years — I got off the hard stuff. I won’t say what brand, but I didn’t realize I started to stink again. I think I just got used to my smell until I had a dear friend confront me and tell me that I was starting to smell. It was the worst moment of my life to be told that. Then my boyfriend found this deodorant because he’s obsessed with finding things that are natural and don’t have toxins. He tried it first and said, “I don’t think you’re going to believe me, but you do not stink with this.” It lasted for two days at a time, and I’ve never had anything like it; it doesn’t stain your clothing and truly makes you have zero percent odor.